Bart Hitchman

A morbidly obese movie critic.


Hitchman is the movie reviewer for The Tattler. His reviews are usually the town’s most negative and cynical as he always points out even the smallest plot holes and production mistakes.

Of Casablanca he said: “The stink of this film is greater than that of the Chicago slaughterhouses or all of Confederate ‘culture,’” among other gems. He called award-winning film The Lost Weekend a “reeking piece of moldy cheese soaked in cheap bathtub gin.”

He is truly a charming fellow.


Bart Hitchman

Deadlands Noir: Sweet L.A. Jaakkosakari